I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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