ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
