Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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