I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
