So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize