So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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