You're my little dorito
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
