So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
