We're facebook friends in real life
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
