I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
