I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize