whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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