God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
