So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
