Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
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