I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
