But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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