Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
