He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
