i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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