butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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