"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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