Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
actually, I'm a sock model
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
