question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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