He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
