just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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