Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
