never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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