I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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