new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
