I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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