TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize