She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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