if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
