I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm always down for nudity.
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