dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
