I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
