Moan for me like Helen Keller
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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