The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
