You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i now understand why vodka
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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