Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
