so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
