I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
