That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize