I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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