this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
