Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I AM VODKA MAN
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
