I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
