I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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