Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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