Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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