You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize