I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
