You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
