Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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