was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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