The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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