i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
