He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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