just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize