I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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