I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
