Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
