I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
