Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
