he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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