Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
