Redeem this text for a blowjob
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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