I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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