weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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