If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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