I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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