batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize