It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
