we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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