You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
