I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
