the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
