New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
