I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
