i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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