If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
