Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
