My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
